I had to ask my shitty husband for some medication because I could not pull myself to stand up and search for some meds. He gave me -- on an empty stomach. What a great bastard he is. I was, for the life of me, asking if he could at least give me some food to eat before I drank the tablets, but no, he said it will be okay.
This is how taking care of me is to him. I hate the fact that I ended up in this kind of relationship. I would not perhaps even call it a relationship for obvious reasons, but I hate the days that I have to sit here and be with this shit.
If you are a husband, please do not treat your wives this way...
Looking back, I could just have gotten myself involved with my Malaysian/Australian pen friend, CHY, who in the past, sent feelers that he was interested in forming a relationship deeper than friendship with me. But by that time, I was already engaged with Fucktard.
I regret the fact that I did not "shop" well for a husband. I could not believe that I knew and had so many good boy friends in college, and there were many other better guys available for me. Why on Earth did I get myself tangled up with this shitty guy of a husband!?!
If I could just only bring back time, I would just have kids and dropped the idea of being a wife to somebody. Life would be less complicated when one only had kids.
When I am with my Christian friends, I could not be myself for fear of being scolded, especially by this girl friend who assumed the role of being an older sister to me. She is in a happy marriage, and I hate reading her timeline statuses. I feel dizzy when she whores her husband and find it equally disgusting to read their cyberspace replies to one another. Big yuch!
Now I feel sleepy... Guess the meds have started kicking in. Groggy time, folks. WIll be back in a while...................................
You are me. You should get out if you can, I cannot.
ReplyDeleteFirst.. Hope u feel better....honey + lemon juice warm...or cranberry juice...
ReplyDeleteSecond...UGH....i am sorry yoy are dragged down by that dude of a husband.....bleeechk
perhaps u r on to something though.....the Day dream/Delicious Night dream......i WAS in a,relationship for 7 yrs, wasnt going nowhere, I wanted better sex, I wanted him to quit drinking sooo much every day,and chain smoker, quiet guy, LOVE,LOVE LOVE his,family...
I decided to start Daydreaming and Live,in a,FANTASY WORLD!!!!! Wow.....it worked!!! I was happier and I smiled,a,hell of alot....I did more of the things I loved.....who the,hell cares if u dont wanna,join me, IDC...
Then.....my dreams came true (4yrs,later!!!)....
Or so I thought .....hmmm now I have a briliany and hapy +healthy kiddo.....almost a yr old, and been with the husb for almost 4yr now.
I am beyond frustrated.....i thought this,dream guy was waay awesome.....now,i just wonder, huh? I love the,back rubs, I love,the great food he puts on the table....and I,am warm and dry.....but.....
Maybe its tbe stress of raising a ittle person, or sleep deprivation or hating his,family or not trusting my family ....
Some days I just want to leave and vanish...no trail....just evaporate...
Im with you on wanting to just run away vanish..
DeleteHi Taran Tula. Let's continue to find that spell so we could use it to make ourselves vanish..... Or better, to make our Fucktard husbands vanish.
DeleteDear Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your message. It is to me, a breath of fresh air, after being "confined" in bed for several days. Damn this flu!
If I could only get out of this rot, am telling you, I will, and will do it TODAY -- but only if I could...
But to dream is the only consolation for now, because of my two children who are still quite young. I could not, for the life of me, destroy them with a broken family.
Perhaps when they are older, I will surely get out of this marriage. Something that my own mother did, when I was of age. Now I admire her for doing that.
Some days, I feel like I just want to evaporate too... Join the wind, or be the sea foam that kisses the shoreline...