How I Realized That Annulment Was the Only Path Forward in My Marriage

Friends have been asking me~ How did I realize that Annulment was the only path forward in my marriage?

Well honestly speaking, it turns out that some efforts have an expiration date, and that sometimes, trying to fix the irreparable is impossible.

I had been thinking off and on about it for over 16 years. I THOUGHT ABOUT IT MANY TIMES. I honestly didn’t immediately think or consider“annulment,” at least not at that point. I thought it would have been easier if my parents left me my own property I could come home to before they migrated to another country -- some house where I could probably think things through when the rough times in my marriage were all happening.  And then that initial "separation" would be a testing ground for both -- like we would physically separate and then see how it goes without each other, or if I was going to miss him, or otherwise... Annulment only came up in the last few months; I knew we were not getting back together -- even if in reality, I was living in the same house for many years -- but we were like a divorced couple. We were inherently two different people; that was always true from the beginning. He could be a better man. But we were just no longer meant to be together. There was just a disconnection; there was always this time we were going to get to where our marriage was going to be different. That time was never real. It was an illusion.  And I knew it even back from the start.

His entire attitude changed after we got married.
We got married. He became the father of my children. I wanted us to work through it. So time kept going and going — but I finally realized that I needed to do what I could to thrive in this union.  Best as I could, it was difficult, and he took me for granted.  He plucked me out of the garden, and left me to wilt and dry in the parched life that he provided.  Like a cup of warm coffee that was left on top of the table and it just turns cold and stale, unnoticed.

His small insults turned into abuse.

I never wanted to get annulled.  Or divorced.  Or I just didn't want to be lined up alongside other women who were categorized as divorcees or somewhere in-between. I had moments of clarity, but I shut them down. I mean, I remember one time telling my coworker who got a bouquet of flowers that that was so wonderful. She asked if I had gotten anything and I said no, but that my husband was so wonderful, every day. I LIED. I didn’t mind. But I think on that now — and that was a big, fat lie, yes! But I needed to keep that going to help the marriage move forward. But then it got too much. His small insults turned into abuse. That’s when I gave myself mental permission to say, I’ve got to get out. I’m not going to survive this unless I get out. That’s when it all clicked and I said I’m not going to have my son and daughter raised in this situation. That was X years into our marriage. I married young, and there were lots of signs that I overlooked.  I simply did not experience how was it to be given some sweetness or affection the way other wives had it from their husbands.

I felt like I was not married to him.

Looking back, there were warning signs way early in the relationship. But then after a while the kids came, and kids take over your life. Seriously.  Things change a lot when the kids come.  You suddenly realize that you live not just for yourself, but for these young people. Kids are able to mask a lack of intimacy and emotional connection. At some point, and several years before my decision, I already knew that we were going to separate — it was just a matter of time, even though we’d never had the conversation. Finally and for the millionth time, we talked it out, he promised me a lot of changes, he said he would be a more proactive partner, the works... And I waited. And waited. And waited. It just didn’t feel genuine. Things got more volatile between us. It felt like there was a lot more yelling and screaming. We were always fighting. I wasn’t happy when he is home. I remembered what it was like to be excited. He traveled a lot for work. I’d be like, yay, he’s coming home! But it got to the point where I’d be disappointed if he was home a bit early. That was a big sign for me. I worked to try to overcome it, but there were just too many bad things going on already.

I really tried. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t see a future.

I knew it was over because I lost respect for him. When we both decided to give our marriage a shot, I do believe he gave it his all. We went to counseling. We really tried. It was just that, no matter how hard we tried, I couldn’t respect him. I couldn’t see any credibility in him. I just wanted a nurturing relationship for our family; and I wanted to show my children that it was about respect, not just love. But no matter what we tried, it was just not happening. That’s when I knew.

The marriage had gone way too long with nothing getting better between us. I ended up deciding on this after not just one issue or thing, but all the little things that led up to it. Like a million moles that turned into a huge, gigantic mountain. All the arguing and irritants that couldn’t be resolved; nasty behavior that couldn’t be changed. We were at an end, a deadlock, and that was when I started to consider ending it. I heard somewhere that the average woman thinks about leaving a marriage 10 times before they actually do. Basically, it just came to a day where I knew the situation had gotten way too bad for way too long. Way too long without anything being resolved. So I decided on it.

There was always this time we were going to get to where our marriage would be different.

I had been thinking off and on for many years. We talked about it, and see what that was like. I honestly didn’t immediately think “annulment,” at least not at that point. I thought we would separate and then see how it goes. Annulment only came up in the last few months; I knew we were not getting back together. We were inherently two different people; that was always true from the beginning. He’s a good man, I still want to believe. But we were just no longer meant to be together. There was just a disconnect; there was always this time we were going to get to where our marriage was going to be different. That time was never real. It was an illusion.

When my life got tough, he didn’t step up.

Accepting that it was over took a really long time. I probably first realized, in all honesty, three months after the birth of our first born. I started to think: maybe ’til death do us part’ doesn’t make sense. I wanted to do everything I could to save it. But at some point I realized this was the path we were probably going to head to. I was very accepting of his small flaws. But he was breaking promises. That stuff happens naturally in all marriages, I know, but it was hard for me to gauge his level of commitment until we hit the real rough patches. For me, when there were things that came up in my life that had me at my lowest; my mom left for another country for good, i lost my job, financial crises here and there, he didn’t step up to be a partner. There was an unwillingness to change or improve on his part too. He couldn’t step up to be the partner that I needed.  And I waited....  and waited.... and waited.

The Flip Side of Current Events

The flip side of current events happening right now ---

I am still hurting but moving on to rosy pastures, where pink-colored glasses are available and real.  Fucktard has been a thousand times nastier to me than the usual.  My only consolation is that  with that, I do not feel that I wasted my thousands of bucks paying my lawyer for annulment.

Yes, I intend to move on, and I have never felt so liberated and free.  But I am still living in the same place with him as  I have no means to go and move elsewhere.  My children are still with me, although the eldest is already an adult, the youngest is still a minor as of this writing and I have to wait a couple more years before I could totally let her stand and decide on her own.

I only want the best for my children.  Only, I cannot give them a full and complete family.  No one deserves to be in a rut.  I do not wish to have an annulled marriage.  But certain things pushed me to do so, and  I realized that there is a word called "happiness" outside the confines of this house.

I have been in this loveless marriage a very long time.  I waited for the children to grow up.  I saved a lot of money because annulment is very very expensive, and only a few privileged individuals can afford it.  I consider myself one of them. Yes, thankfully, I am able to.  But I am not wealthy.  I just know where to put my hard-earned money into. 

Many women like me in my home country are trapped in a loveless marriage like mine.  I feel sorry for them because we are the only country in the world that does not have Divorce.  The Catholic church is a very powerful force in my home country and their voice is The Voice.  No actual separation of church and state in here, and they dictate a whole damn lot.

I consider myself included in that small percentage of women who can pay for an annulment.  But that doesn't make it easy for us to do so.  For one, the justice system in this country takes a slow and long lime to finish.  It takes 2-3 years or even more than that for one's petition to come down.  And if the spouse contests, then you are on to an ever longer battle. :(

After Many Months of Contemplating

After many months of contemplating what to do, I finally, finally decided --

 

--- that I need to have something new in my life.

I Have Closed This Blog to Public Readers

I have closed this blog to public readers for the last several months.  

Now I have decided to OPEN it again after 5 months and 26 days exact,
for all my loyal readers to see and read.

I feel the urgent need to have them around me once again, for solace and comfort.

SO TO ALL THOSE WHO CANNOT TAKE ME AS I AM:

-- Stay away if you do not agree.  

-- Stay away if you are a loving wife.

-- Stay away if you love your husband to bits.

-- Stay away if you adore him.

-- Stay away if you will just leave me with preachy words.

--  Stay away if you cannot stomach all the hate I have and will post still.

LIVE and LET LIVE!!!

I Scream and Cry Inside

I scream and cry inside but I never dare to show my fragile state.

My Cough is Not Completely Up

My cough is not completely up, but I am getting better a bit. My Antibiotics are kicking in but not doing its job in full force.

Just an important thought lurking in my mind -- One of my frustrations in this house is that not once ever was I able to invite friends over for a get-together, or a friendly chat over coffee with old time friends. This is because my garage is right beside the bedroom of my in laws and making noise is forbidden. Or else, they will be disturbed.

I have endured that for many many years -- over 20 years, to be exact, and going 21st this December.

Now, I have a different story. My husband's father is home from the hospital and he is of course, given all the comfort and pampering by his family members.

I have a very useful playground out in the garage that helps me get a lot of enrollees in my center due to the attraction that it gives to potential students. It has, in many ways, served its purpose of allowing my center to be child-friendly, and "fun".

Problem now is -- I was told this afternoon, that my students can't play that much anymore because of the noise they might create -- which will disturb my husband's father who is resting in his room just beside the garage...

I feel so stifled now that this new rule has to be imposed and implemented. For 20 long years, I have not celebrated anything in this house, for the noise it might generate. And then now, I get THIS...

I wish I had a magic wand to transport me to a new home where I can just be myself. I am not a noisy person, to be honest. I only want to experience some personal, "domestic relaxation" -- something that I have been denied of for many years.

I can't even call this house my home.

My son cannot play his piano music when the old folks are in their room (which they almost always are)... Otherwise, they will hear the music, and it will bother them. There are so many prohibited things in this place. it's like Martial law is raised and will never be lifted ever.

One time, we were out attending Mass, and we got a call from my husband's mother, asking why our dogs are barking in the second floor of our house. I really felt sorry that even our dogs were "questioned" about their "activities" in this house.

We were all not at home at that time, so maybe the dogs were just barking at some random stimulus... I feel sorry that if only the folks in the other house can put them in prison, they will. :(

I Wish Posting Words Can Have an Automatic Timer

I wish posting words can have an automatic timer just like when I post photos in my other pages. That way, I just need to post and set the time and date, and presto, it will publish on its own. I have not written in a while because I am sick. And it always takes more than a month to get over any sickness I get.

My cough is always getting worse, and the coughing fits are also getting more frequent than ever. They always make me tear up when I do. All my scheduled health tests will have to be moved because of this as one of them requires me NOT to take this certain kind of medicine, lest it will generate inaccurate results.

No one realizes the fact that I lead a very sad life. I am just so good in juggling how real things are on the flip side. There are many things keeping me this way, and it is hard to explain to the whole world why, and where it stems from. Somehow I have accepted my fate. I eat alone, my husband is busy fulfilling his duties for his family, he comes home only to leave again, my kids are always out or far away from me, and so I have retreated to just stand beside my business, manning it until late in the evening, even if I am ailing. The show must go on, as they say.

Every time I get sick, it lasts for more than a month, and coughing is really bad. Last time I checked, a blood vessel in my eye broke and I had to live for months with a red speck in the white of my left eye. All because of excessive coughing. I hate this kind of sickness I often get. I prefer having a bad cold over coughing. My chest hurts really bad and my throat aches due to this too. My antibiotics are not acting fast.

After a very long time of not experiencing this emotion, I feel happy that today, my son messaged me that he wants to come home tonight because he misses us. I am happy because for a while, I have observed how much he is beginning to be insensitive like his father, and sadly, he does not care even if he sees me or his sister cry or feel troubled. Maybe I still have a little of myself in this young man, after all. I hope he will grow older to be a caring, and sensitive soul. Someone who will show genuine care, kindness, and love to me, his sister, and women in general.

I Wonder How Many Women in This World Have Somewhat of a Liar for a Husband?

I wonder how many women in this world have somewhat of a liar for a husband? Mine is just as soft spoken as a purring kitten, but he has some issues too in my book.

How can he even bring me to see my doctors or accomplish the medical tests that I need to rule out my health, when first thing in the morning as I open my eyes, he is nowhere to be seen at home.

He leaves the house very early, and does not say a word, nor leaves a text message as to where he is. I swear I told him last time that if anything happens to him or me, I would not know where in the world he would be located. He also does not reply to calls, and always tells me that he either could not hear his phone, or there isn't any good signal in his whereabouts.So it is a common practice that he would go home from God knows where, to bring me take out food to eat. This includes a dinner fix, because his next homecoming would be later in the evening.

He fetches my daughter from school, and drops her at home. And then he leaves again, and that's it. So I often eat alone. I have learned to thrive in this kind of set-up, so as I mentioned, I dine in the company of my gadgets. The reason I have collected hundreds of movie torrents in my trusty old usb is because of this.

There are X numbers of his siblings. All here in this country now to just order him around most of the time. The older and more "bossy" ones are somewhat "immune" to this hospital duty thing. I also have not seen him sit and open his laptop to work and man his business. So when am I going to have my day when things are like this at home? Perhaps I have to wait for death to claim my father in law so I can also have someone accompany me to attend to my own personal needs. But I know that this would take longer to happen.

The Lump in the Palm of My Hand is Growing

The lump in the palm of my hand is growing. I guess my Creatinine test and MRI have to wait longer because my husband is too pre-occupied taking care of his father in the hospital.

I do not have anything against this, but there are X numbers of other siblings who can also do this. And they all have helpers, and drivers to move around for them.

So just because we live beside my in laws automatically designates my husband to be more assigned to mind all the stuff in the hospital. I think they all forgot that he works too, has a family, and that we do not have any help at home. I feel so empty and I need someone to talk to. But no one is available. I have decided to just make this account my witness and sounding board.

I Haven't Slept at All

I haven't slept at all. Had to finish paper work, and important posts for my business' fan page. Sometimes I wish I could turn back time and change my fortune.

I wish I hadn't gotten married at all. Marriage adds to the problem. Having a husband on paper is of no use. Only the children matter.

I wish I have someone to at least eat lunch or dinner with. Always, and even during normal days, my companion is the laptop screen in front of me. I feel so alone and sad.

I Hate Mondays

I hate Mondays. All the blues are coming out. My work takes me to teach rowdy children, and deal with hard to please parents from 1:30 pm to 9:30 pm daily.

Worse, my earnings go to payables and bills.

I want to be able to reinvent myself and work with dogs.

Or dead people.

It's Been A While Again

This is a VERY LATE POST which I have published only now.  I cannot anymore remember when this exactly happened, but surely it did, not too long ago. Anyway, here it goes ---

It's been a while again since I wrote on this gripe account.  Been very busy lately with Momma duties for my children.  Thankfully, I have them, because they are my source of joy -- after which my dogs come next in the list.

So anyway, life has been great lately -- but not on the marital side of things, of course.  As usual, my story is the same -- same asshole husband, asshole sisters in law, and asshole brothers in law.  I've been a sad member of this asshole family since 19 years ago, and I cannot quite believe that I have lasted this long.

So many stories have long waited to be recorded down here, and sadly, some have been forgotten already, because the minute I turned xx, my mind has been winded down to being somewhat forgetful and slow.

Anyway, just the other effing day, the richest sister in law of this family left a nasty and insensitive comment on Viber --  making my asshole husband look poorer literally and figuratively -- to which, he bravely replied to and disagreed on.

As usual, no one added a comment to it, and seen-zoned it, as usual.  Minutes after, the eldest fat asshole sister in law commented, but changed the topic, to which the rest of them assholes added comments to, in agreement to what she said.  Such major whorers, really.

In defense to what he responded to his rich asshole sister, I commented below and agreed to him.  The nerve of this sthoopid husband to even tell me that I shouldn't have commented at all!  FU! to your dumb face, Fucktard!  Instead of being grateful and happy that I stood up for him, he reacted otherwise!

Wow, I truly belong to this cursed, damned life after all...

I Wish I Had A Different Husband

I have left this blog lying around (again) for some time, and am surprised that it has had 7k+ visits since the last time I logged in.  How can I thank you enough, for always supporting me in my woes, my dearest readers...  I always open this blog to find messages waiting to be published, and I am truly sorry for letting time run through like that without checking in earlier.  Your comments make me happy, so wherever you are in this part of the globe, I appreciate you, and the words you leave behind for me.

Always I tell myself that I will write every time something bad happens, but believe me, whenever something happens, my trusty laptop is far from being with me.  I end up reminding myself that I will come up with a post after Fucktard does something to annoy me, or whenever any of his equally shitty siblings invade or trample on my stubby toes.

Several months ago, I was compelled to join Fucktard's family Viber group.  Since as I have mentioned in this blog not too long ago that his mother and sisters are all matriarchal -- I didn't have any choice but to put up.  Believe me, it is very difficult for me to be able to speak up to this horrible family, as I have nowhere to go but stay in this house.  My family, who migrated long ago to the States, did not leave any property for me to "run or go home to" whenever marital problems arise, or when I just feel like I want out.  So when I married this Son of a Bitch husband, I am stuck with him -- in this old house given by his rich parents, and endure my life living next door to them.

I have endured days when one sister in law would casually drop by unannounced, and check what was inside my refrigerator, or barge in our room to just "visit."  Fuck that bitch.  I want to kill them all and erase them from this planet.

Oh dear God, please help me escape this tiring life.  All I want is to be with my children, run away to be with my mom and sister in the States.

Once again, this Son of a Bitch slept on me while I was crying my heart out.  Who among you has a husband like mine?  Who gets to have the title of "All men are idiots and I married their King?"

More about what happened tonight in my next entry. It's 4:18am and I need to rest my tired eyes now.

Finally Did This

Today is one of those days where I really feel like letting bloody heads roll off the table.  And because of this seething anger, I managed to remove you, together with your crappy family members in my Facebook account.  Never mind that days after this perhaps, I will regret doing that for fear that I will be questioned and interrogated by your breed.  But things like deleting people from social media are free to do in this world, and are just one of the things I am glad to avail of.

For one, I regret joining you and your family ever since I married you 19 years ago.  I should have listened to my guts when I learned that you are 8 in the family, and that your mother, and your sisters are all matriarchal types, who always want to have the upper hand in everything -- family affairs, parties, eating out in restaurants, name it and they all want and get what they want from anything.

Why is it that you have a sibling who is an accomplished, practicing doctor, and who feels like she is above everyone else.  That one particular evening I called her house to ask for help regarding our son who was sick, and her maid answered that your doctor sister was having her dinner!

I replied by requesting for a return call, but of course I never received one.  What kind of doctor is she, for not even bothering to return my call despite knowing that our son -- her nephew, was sick and all, and I of course, I called with such urgency and worry...

If people who become doctors end like that, then I would wish there wouldn't be any doctors at all in the world.

And oh my, I wonder why most of your siblings try endlessly to get to the good graces of one niece and two nephews who are the kids of one stinking, filthy rich sister and brother in law...?

That every year they celebrate their lavish birthdays, your butt-licker siblings send a blanket of email greetings dripping with sweetness and the like.  And when our kids have theirs, we get a dry, HBD -- makes me feel like I even owe them for extra hard work of typing in 3 little capital letters on email...

Why, even our kids hate your siblings. I wouldn't be surprised that by the time they reach adulthood and become accomplished people in their chosen careers, they would not even bother to care for their senior citizen aunts and uncles!

I wish my family was here --- my mom, my sister....  I wish my parents left a property to call my own...  If that would be the case, then I would have left you eons ago and groped to stand on my own, fending for myself and the kids even if I have to grit my teeth from working hard.

But I had to stay in your house for the last 16 years -- all this time trying my best to live in this place, so near your family and siblings.  How many times did they bother and annoy me?  I will not specify what they are for you know them all, and not even my entire lifetime of typing them would be enough to count the heartaches I've received from them.

You are all sons and daughters of a bitch and I regret the days I spent with all of you.  You are the very reason I grew bitter and sullen.

Your sister's bitch daughters once bitched our daughter, and now, she cannot erase that from her young memory.  How else can I shield my child from the harsh realities of life like that?  Getting bitched is one, but getting bitched by your very own cousins is another.

And may I ask what you did to correct this? NOTHING.  You just stood there like the idiot you are, accepting everything like a coward father.  And when I raise the issue to you, you have the face to scold me like I am the one who brews up intrigues in your family.

I hate you and I hate your 7 other siblings, together with 4 of their spouses.  I swear when I die, I will haunt you all and scare the shit out of all of you.  No worries, for I will not kill you.  But I promise to scare you all for life until all of you lose your wits.  Same goes to all your nephews and nieces who are not nice to my children...

If I can only do some black magic, believe me, I would, and will carry on with my promise to all of you.

Wanted New Husband

For the past weeks, you have been going out with your high school friends again.  And not even one party or gathering can keep all of you satisfied.  I hate that you are connected again with your girl friends -- the same ones who, back in college, wished to see you with their own pet candidate.

Not one of these girl friends of yours can even ask how I am because I know they all hate me for my guts in standing up for myself back then.  I will not forget the days when I used to receive anonymous hate letters from them taped on the windshield of my car, telling me that I should stay away from you, and that I am so white and pale or yellow-skinned, and that this girl "pet" of theirs is more fit to be with you.

I have endured so much, and then now that your high school batch is celebrating their nth year homecoming, all have resurrected once more, and I have seen your pictures with them in social media sites, you, posing too close for comfort with them, and one, even pressing her breasts on your chest.

Upon waking up this morning, I find that you are not at home -- and being a Saturday, I wonder where you are, and you have not even bothered to tell me before leaving about your whereabouts.  I hate to be treated this way.  I wish my parents left me with a house to call my own before they migrated to the States.  I wish I joined them many years ago, rather than chose to finish up my studies here.

I hate that every time you see your friends, you have to kiss them all one by one, and that I can see in social media sites that even though most, if not all of you are married, you still manage to tease each and every one with old flames, sweethearts from the past, and that no one cares about how present/current wives or husbands would feel in case we would see those pictures.  I HATE YOU, and all those who have been in and out of your life since high school and college.

I wish I married someone else who would treat me like a queen, someone who could give me what I need or want, even without telling.  I envy most of my friends, whose husbands are fantastic ones.  I hate when I see friends who brag on Facebook about how their husbands have bought them sweet things, or brought them out to wonderful places, or those who date their wives out every week.

I wish I married someone else.  I don't have anyone else to talk to in this house except for my daughter who understands me, and who is my sounding board everyday.  She is my only blessing.  My son, is very busy with so many things school and out of school related, and he somehow tends to favor his dad more.  Life is kind of fair in this area because at least, I have my daughter who shares the same sentiments with me.  My daughter can see how her dad treats me like nothing in this house, and how he ignores me every time -- especially that he has put up a new and successful business, and his clients are numerous.  My husband is like a chick magnet at times, and perhaps due to the fact that he is sweeter and kinder, and more thoughtful to other women, he tends to get all the women's attention.

I want to scream and post 'WANTED NEW HUSBAND".  All I want and need is to be treated like a queen, is that too much to ask from a husband?

I've had so many readers in this blog, but I have not been read or left a message, by a husband.  I wish too, that someday, a good husband could read this, and leave a comment that would enlighten me, and who would, tell me, from a man's point of view, that indeed, my husband is a big Fucktard.

If only I could bring back time, I would.  I wish....  I wish....  I wish...

I told my daughter once, that when I die  I will haunt my Fucktard and scare the wits out of him every night.  I will torture him, and scare him until his hair falls off one by one.

The photo I used is one wish I intend to fufill no matter what.

----------

Thank you, Mariel Clayton, for the photo I used.

Hello Again and Thanks!

Hello, and long time no see again, husband haters!

I managed to retrieve my pw in this blog of mine -- I guess I've been struck with a bit of a senior moment here, forgetting what my pw is -- and all because I've been maintaining so many blogs to date.

Thank you to those marvelous people who left messages here (and as I log into this account, found 8 peeps), whose posts I have approved and published only today -- and after sending them several months ago.  I apologize for not checking in earlier.

Most of the time, I wish I had an electronic device taped into my hands so I could post anytime, any day.  Sadly, when Fucktard pisses me off, I am usually out of reach of a device, and so I end up writing my gripes on cryptic notes, random little sheets of paper I keep in my bag, which, I end up taping on my trusty old journal.  I couldn't type away on my cellphone for fear that someone might see or read it.

So anyway, I'd like to thank those who keep sending me messages here and truly gain comfort and solace from those who share the same sentiment as I do.  Let's continue to bash our shitty husbands even through cyberspace, and throw steam when we can.

Funny, because even in the spirit of Thanksgiving (which we do not really celebrate in my home country, but which, I do, in my heart), I can still manage to kick some ass here.  Thanks to all of you, readers.

High Fives!

I Really Hate You

Once again you left me crying alone.  Every time I cry because of you, you leave me to lick my own wounds.  All the more I feel that I want to leave you.  If not for my children, I would have left you long ago.

I could not even take it that when you see my heart broken because of you, you manage to sleep on me.  I hate you, and if I could live my life all over again, I would have chosen to take another man instead of you.  Sadly, I cannot turn back time, and have to live with you for the rest of my life.

My parents were not wise enough to leave me with a property I can run or go to whenever I feel like leaving you.  So now I am stuck here in this house with you.  I hate you.  I truly, really, superbly hate you.

Fucky and Fugly

Funny, I noticed that it's been a while since I got upset at my Fucktard. 

Anyway, last night, I caught him smiling sheepishly while glancing over his Facebook account.  Being someone who is mostly right when my instincts worked big time, I asked him what the reason was behind his naughty, foolish grin.  He quickly dismissed it and answered that he was just replying to a batch mate (yeah, better read about those shitheads in that highlighted word) in high school.

I knew there was something else, and I decided to use my very useful wifely brute force and scrolled more to see what he was fussing about.  What I saw immediately screwed me up -- he was chatting with a fugly batch mate who I am positive, he didn't even knew existed back in high school.  My red buttons immediately activated themselves and what was supposed to be a normal and boring night, turned interesting --  well, at least for our dog, who heard and saw all the drama.

What really blew my already burned up fuse, is this poster which he liked:

What?!?  He agrees that she is one awesome fugly wife?  WTF?  I wouldn't whore a male friend if the tables were turned!  And Fucky was even trying to deflect everything on me by asking how come I don't get mad when he whores other females in FB.  "Well, whaddaya know, stupid", I shot back at him --  "...everything makes it normal and unsuspicious when these females are common, flirty friends!" 

I hope you get my drift up there.

This fugly woman is getting all the attention from my Fucky, she prolly is so ecstatic now that Fucky is giving her all the likes, and is whoring all her posts on FB.  He claims he isn't, but I told him there are many avenues to flirting, and what he is doing is just one of them.  Recalling how he donned that naughty smile, I just wanna chop his dick to tiny little pieces.

But I am convinced that when I dipped his toothbrush in the toilet bowl last night, whatever fiends came with it will take care of him and do their job.  Hah!

Anyway,  I was itching to write about what blew my fuse since last night, but come to think of it, the woman is fugly, I don't give a damn if they screw each other.   So long as Fucky gives me moolah to support my addiction to books, he can damn screw and fuck any hole in the wall.

Here is a photo of Ms. Fugly ---  But because I am protecting my own interests, I had to change her photo a bit.  But believe me, she doesn't look far from this:

UPDATE as of 7/27/2020: Her photo disintegrated in cyberspace when I somehow changed some email settings here.  Sadly, I cannot produce another one anymore.  But if you really want to see a glimpse of her, just take a shit in your regular throne at home, and  before flushing away, take a good look at what you just deposited in there.  Congratulations, you now have seen this bitch.

Back to Trolling!

Once again. 

Sorry for not checking in. 

Been gone for six months, and it's all because of work. 

But I'm back. 

And for good! 

Am back to trolling in lala land!

Back Again

Can't believe I managed NOT to write for the past months that I have been dealing with more of Fucktard and his equally fucky family.

Well to start with, we decided not to join them in the next wedding in tow, -- happened sometime this month -- but this time somewhere across the globe.  If you've been following this blog, your guess is right -- it was another lavish, royalty-like wedding.  Good thing my kids have a lot of things needed to be accomplished, and I myself, had a lot of work to do; ergo, we opted to stay -- and told them we are tied with commitments.

But the truth of the matter is -- we all just don't like to join them in another sojourn -- most especially abroad.  My mantra, -- which the rest of Fucky, and our kids have adopted, is -- "I'd rather travel alone, than travel with a  bunch of shitty assholes."

I think, this time, I have to give some BIG credit to my Fucktard hubs, for siding with me, and for sharing the same sentiment with me when it comes to traveling again this time.  But let me tell ya, that in my culture this side of the globe, family ties are tight, close, and strong, -- multiply those qualities, add the word "so" before each adjective, and you know what you'll get: so stifled, so strangled, so suffocated, and so drained.

I'd like to rant and purge myself from these assholes, lemme tell you a thing or two about them. Fucktard has seven other sibs, so you probably get the image-pic of a new, and very overwhelmed wife when I joined them by virtue of marriage years ago:

No. 1 family -- composed of my SIL, her ugly husband, and their two trying hard to be talented, good for nothing grown-up daughters.  If I could kill daughter no. 1 and her mother, believe me, I would.  The other two -- BIL and younger daughter no. 2 -- quite tolerable.

UPDATE as of 7/27/2020:  Daughter no 2 is one of the shittiest nieces ever.  We found out a couple of years ago, that she has been writing in her social media about how she dislikes my children because they are intelligent, smart, and just plain achievers.  Does that count as the sins of my children?  Well I am NOT sorry, bitch!  I am very happy that my children are the most intelligent ones in this fucky family of Fucktard.  Thanks to my genes, they inherited that light bulb brain from yours truly.  So when we exposed your doing to the fucky family, they did not do anything and tried to protect you instead! So two years ago, I told myself that I think it is time to move on and away from all of you, shitheads.  I can't join you, I can't lick you, so DAMN YOU.

No. 2 family -- composed of another SIL, her fat, trillionaire hubs, and their three also grown-up kids -- eldest kid got married in an island wedding not too long ago (read up this blog and you'll find the story), the second got married a few weeks ago this month, and he had an equally lavish wedding.  His wife looks like a mantou (go ahead and Google it).  Everyone, as usual (except for us), raved about the event.  My, I can't imagine how many ass-lickers were there in that event, all gathered under one roof in the five-star, deluxe hotel where the wedding reception took place.  I wanna kill all members of this family.  One swipe, one strike, with a katana I always wish I had, in my very fertile mind.

No. 3 family -- They call themselves the Americans.  Composed this time of my BIL, his wife, and two grown up kids.  Killing BIL is one thing I'd like to do a long time ago.  Since he indeed became an American (he is an officer in service, but I can't tell you what branch in the military) several years ago, he speaks, thinks, and acts like one.  I sometimes find it lame and trying hard too much.  His wife and kids, though, are tolerable.  (Exhaling here, thank goodness.)

No. 4 family -- This SIL does not have an extended fam.  She is an aging female, and her hormones have long stopped working to be able to contribute to the human race.  In fairness, she is a no-frills kind of woman.  So I guess, I kinda like her...  but only in some ways.  Other times, I wish I could tell her to get herself a husband.  Because she often "borrows" my Fucktard...  Like when she accidentally locked her room and the keys were left inside (stupid, yeah), and she had to call my Fucky to help unlock the damn door.  Or when her bedroom light broke, and she needed some tall guy to change the bulb...  You get the picture, right?  The ugly side of not getting married and growing old alone...  For the record -- my Fucky is the youngest in the brood, so the elder ones like this SIL runs to him for "help."  For Pete's sake, things like these get into my nerves big time!

UPDATE as of 7/27/2020:  You tried to drive a car, but can't even back up and u-turn like normal.  So the car got stuck somewhere maybe in the gutter, and you called my Fucky. Naturally, he comes running to your rescue.  And the time stamp on my clock at that time read 2:30 something in the early morning.  What utter stupidity that was, really.  No, I do not find it cute.  But plain annoying and so needy.  I hate needy women, I swear I hate them.  Get some sense, will ya?  It is the 21st century and for hell's sake, be a real woman and grow some balls.

Another update:  My son was about to go back home to his condo because he needs to study big time for an important exam, and he sought help from me to let you know that he CANNOT in any way be bothered.  And you, being the ever-feeling important aunt that you are, tried to ride the car he was in, and made him go with you to eat out in Chinatown.  I felt that as his Mother, my rights were trampled on deliberately because you did not even tell me that you intended to do that EVEN IF I DISTINCTLY INFORMED YOU THAT MY SON NEEDED TO GO BACK TO HIS UNIT ASAP.  I know you had to "ambush and kidnap" him and rode the car when he got out from our gate.  What was your intention for doing so, huh, old and ugly bitch?

No. 5 family -- If No. 3 family is so hooked up in being Americans, No. 5 family is sooo trying hard to be pure Chinese!  Oh, my freakin' ass is quivering now, I'd like to get my invisible katana, and chop all their heads off.  BIL, his wife, plus three kids whose ages are like my own, are all asses.  BIL is the Asshole.  His wife, my SIL, is the Asslicker.  Kid no. 1 is the Asscheek.  Kid no. 2 is the Asscrack, and Kid no. 3 is the Asswhore.  Another swipe and strike for this fam of five.  My MIL is Chinese, but they did not completely grow up practicing the ways of being one full, Chinese folk.  They are Chinese.  We are.  But we also practice living the life of being another race in our homeland, host country we all live in.  Now this fam. no. 5 -- acts like they come from a royal Dynasty of Chinese ancestors.  I could just puke! Ugh!  They do not at all look like Chinese.  Shame on this fam who acts like they are some chinky-eyed, yellow-skinned citizens of this country.  Poor asses.  They are all good asslickers, though, headed by my SIL who I believe, graduated from Asslicker Academy of Asia.  She trained her kids to be great, annoying asslickers too  They live up to that word the day I joined Fucky's fam.  They can "buy" everyone because the mother is such a good Asslicker.  She wants to be the favorite DIL, and she wants her kids to be the favorite nephews/niece in the family.  Sad to say, I can't compete with that.  So to this day, am still contemplating how to top this fam.  Good thing, my kids are beautiful, talented and smart.  They can't compete with that.

UPDATE as of 7/27/2020:  I STILL HATE THIS FAMILY. Period.

No. 6 fam -- No fam, but bitches.  This one is a butch.  She has a bitch in life, and they both look like losers.  This SIL's  security or comfort zone comes from being ass-licked  by the other family members.  She hasn't got her own fam, so she feeds on her nephews and nieces' ass-licking galore.  Of course, I very well know that Family No. 5 tops her list.  That makes me so sad.  Coz once again, I am no good when it comes to licking ass.  I only lick ice cream.  On a cone.

No. 7 fam -- No fam again, just boy toys. This one is a closet queen.  Read No. 6 and the scenario is the same.  Except that this one, is like I said, a closet queen.  A drag queen in hiding.  Guess he is good in licking asses.  And ice cream. On a cone.

So there goes.  The royal family of Shitheads and Shitloads.  Assheads and Assloads.  Bow.