Like a Withered Flower

My shitty husband claims he is a Christian, but believe me, for over 20 years, he has not picked up the Bible to study or read it.  Today, he is still like a newbie, and could not open a page correctly.  He has to go to the table of contents to check where a topic is located.  I feel so bad about all this and I want to leave him for good.  I am only obligated to stay with him.  I want a new life with a new man who can satisfy my needs as a woman and as a person.

I am dry, parched, and thirsty.  This man is so good in ignoring me all day everyday.  He is a bastard and I so hate this life with him.  I also detest the idea that my Mom, who has a new husband in the States is practically living the good life.  She too, cannot help me because she is all too consumed by taking care of her husband -- well somehow I felt the change in her priorities when she found the man that would make her happy...

Oh God I hate this life!  I want to change my life and go back to the days when I started out as an adult.  I want to correct all the wrongs I committed, choose the path that I failed to take.  For many years I have contemplated on opening a blog like this.  My other two blogs, also on this platform, are goody goody ones.  While I write about how good life is to me, deep inside I know that everything is a lie.

I miss my old, college friend, who decided to leave her shitty husband.  I admire her for doing so.